Unravelling the electronic babysitter

With parents juggling their everyday lives, from managing power driven jobs to keeping their families fed, sheltered and safe it is sometimes easier to let your children’s electronic gadgets keep them occupied while you as a parent cook the evening meal, get the bath ready or just take a five minute time-out.

There is often a misconception that electronic babysitting is something new. It isn’t. It has been around since we could plonk our children in front of the television set (perhaps even the radio) to watch or listen to and leave them for a few uninterrupted moments.

What is electronic babysitting?

Television has long been considered the original electronic babysitter, and then came videos, DVD’s, Playstation, cellphones, Xbox moving on to the Apple generation and more recently, the smartphone. These devices can often be used by parents to keep their children busy while they are otherwise engaged and thus not able to play or spend quality with them.

The reasons parents allow this varies. If I listen to my friends, the television is the ideal tool to keep a toddler occupied during the 17h00-18h00 suicide-hour-period, when mom needs to put food on the table, feed baby and start the night-time routine – all before dad comes home. It seems the perfect solution.

The same can be said about cellphone use on the way back from school in the car. If the children are occupied by something and there is peace and quiet during the drive, it seems like a workable solution. Another scenario may include domestic workers or nannies that need to clean the house and at the same time watch the children. What better way than to allow some “playtime” in front of the child’s technological device of choice – it is manageable, and the helper can finish their house work at the same time. These reasons are both cost and time effective, and give the adult and child the freedom they both so desperately want, without any real constraints.

There are however real concerns that need to be examined closely. The following have been mentioned in numerous articles as possible negative outcomes to using electronic babysitters:

• Anti-social behaviour might develop over time in children that seldom get the opportunity to interact with their peers or other people;
• Unrestricted access to the television and internet can expose children
• It takes the place of outdoor activities and can lead to health issues like obesity, diabetes, depression, malnutrition, poor physical development and overall weak bodily functions;
• Pediatricians strongly oppose children under the age of two years old watching television. In their opinion, any positive effect of television on infants and toddlers is still open for discussion, but the benefits of parent-child interactions are proven. Under age two, talking, singing, reading, listening to music or playing are far more important to a child's development than any TV show;
• Links have been found between early television exposure and subsequent attention problems in children (for example ADD, ADHD). The subject needs further research, but the current information is enough to elicit the strong response from pediatricians;
• Attitude problems develop in teenagers who struggle to show respect and abide to the rules of their parents;
• Addiction to technology, pornography and food may develop;
• Poor performance in school;
• Some studies show obsessive compulsive behaviour in children that are always trying to be the best or winning. This can be linked to their obsession of winning the games they play on their electronic devices;
• Foul language;
• Necessity of glasses because of exposure to flashing screens;
• Sleep deprivation or disturbances.

 

Tips to try and sidestep the continuous use of electronic babysitters:

 

For the full-time working parents:

• Take turns dropping your children off at school. When it’s your turn, use that time as an opportunity to build your relationship and have meaningful conversations;
• Take turns putting your children to sleep. On your off-night you can do house-related chores or work;
• When you need to work after hours, rather spend time at home from 17h00-19h00 and go back to work when they have fallen asleep. This way you see and interact with your children, help with their homework/sleep routines/feeding etc. and they can share their day’s experience with you without feeling you are absent;
• If you have a nanny/helper/crèche/after school service that takes care of your children, make sure that they have the ability to stimulate your children without the use of technology. You can even research some ideas on the internet and give them a list of easy, fun, yet educational activities to do and encourage free-play in a safe area for the remainder of the time.

For single-parents:

• Get your children excited about after-school activities and encourage them to take part. In between they can possibly stay at the after-school service where they can finish homework and interact with their peers;
• Get older children involved in helping with household chores and see it as skills development, rather than you doing everything and keeping them entertained electronically;
• Ask a family member or good friend to give you some much needed personal time - at least two hours a week. Plan a fun activity for your kids to do in that time and enjoy a guilt-free time to yourself;
• When your child visits his/her other parent for a day/night/weekend, take time to pre-cook meals and freeze them. This will take pressure off you to cook a healthy meal every night and thus losing another hour of your day that you could have spent interacting with your child.

For parents of babies/toddlers:

• Childproof your house and garden. Create spaces that are safe enough for your child to play without you watching their every move;
• Take time to rest or to do your chores when your child takes a nap. Don’t waste time by watching television yourself;
• Form a group of moms with children of round-about the same age and take turns to baby-sit each other’s children. Organise a very structured hour or two in which the children do specific activities and keep themselves busy – you then only oversee this.

If there is no other alternative than to make use of electronic devices as a means of babysitting, you can establish the following rules to make sure it is safe:

• You choose the device;
• You choose and/or oversee the content;
• You establish the time it will consume;
• You provide them with healthy snacks (if needed);
• You check up on them every 20-30 minutes;
• If it will take up many hours, set up a program in which they also get a ‘break’ and do some other activity outside or inside the house with you;
• You try to stay as close by as possible. If they get bored, be ready with Plan B or be open to the possibility of rescheduling your own activity and tending to their needs (which at this point might possibly be a need for your undivided attention).

The most important thing is to manage your children’s time wisely and to establish healthy patterns in which they feel safe and you have the freedom to do what is needed.

Please take note that this is one of the topics with more serious long term effects and should thus be taken very seriously.

http://www.parent24.com/Preschool_2-6/care_nutrition/The-electronic-babysitter-20110325
http://www.parent24.com/Preschool_2-6/development_behaviour/TV-and-your-child-20080721
http://kidstvmovies.about.com/od/childrenstvnewsinfo/a/babytvdvd.htm
http://www.magicdesktop.com/en/
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Children_TV/
http://www.parent24.com/School_7-12/development_behaviour/Addicted-to-technology-20100127