Smartphone = Smart kid

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Guest blog by Tanya Kovarsky

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As much as I like to think of my iPhone as “my smartphone” or “mommy’s phone”, the truth is that my toddler owns it as much as I do – whether it’s phoning his daddy, using apps, or looking at my pictures. To think that I will be able to tell my son when he’s older that he’s not allowed his own phone, is not only naïve, but could see him getting kicked out of social circles before he’s even entered.

And why not? I’ll be able to get hold of him when I need to, and he can phone if he’s needing anything. A little different to when I was younger and had to find the closest “tickey box” and then make a reverse-charge call to my parents, asking them to please fetch me from my movie at Sandton City. There’s no question that cellphones are wonderful ways of keeping in contact, whether through calls, instant messaging or SMSes.

And then there are games – my son has a range of learning and fun apps on my phone (and yes, they’re taking up about 10G of space!). A few minutes here and there to distract from the toddler tantrum – or even prevent them – are worth every cent at the iTunes store. There are some superb interactive and learning apps that complement and enhance my son’s day-to-day learning and development.

But with every bit of upside and cool app, there is a downside too. I’m scared my son will bury his head in his phone and be more adept at instant messaging-speak than real face-to-face interaction (many adults I know are also growing into more competent at cellphone conversations than verbal ones). I fear cyber bullying and adults posing as children. And I worry that his cellphone will be just another thing in his life I can’t “control”, and that he’ll get hurt, or won’t learn the value of good human communication.

So like with most things, there will need to be rules, which I’m hoping we can decide and learn together from when he’s ready. Rules like how long and how often he can be on the phone, what his cellphone “budget” will be, and how not to trust or accept “friendships” from anyone on social networks. And that whatever he says to others via cellphone text can be used against him, and to be cautious. A wonderful lesson I once learnt is that good words should be written, and more negative messages communicated verbally.

But as with anything to do with parenting, you never know what to expect, and what your child will be. And if he’ll listen to you, or text his friend to say “My mom is on my back. #FML” Or whether he won’t even want a cellphone anyway.

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Guest blog by Tanya Kovarsky
Editor, writer, copywriter blogger and trainer
www.rattleandmum.co.za and www.tanyakovarsky.com