Are we creating a nation of chatterboxes?

Just the other day a friend told me a funny story, that when she used to take her children to a certain paediatrician, one of the first things he looked for was bumps and bruises on their shins.  He explained that a child with multiple scars and shades of blue on their legs is a good sign of active, healthy living – compared to sitting in front of the television.

Nowadays, there are so many gadgets that can keep them ‘bruise-free’, one of which being our trusted cell phone.  Instead of playing outdoors, doing creative projects or chores, they spend their time on their cell phones chatting on SMS, WhatsApp, BBM and MXit - you name it, they have it and can work it. 

Given the magnitude of this problem, it urges me to ask parents the question of whether their child is addicted to chatting. Also, whether this dependence is benefitting or hindering their personal life.  They may be funny or cheeky when texting, but have no personality or social skills in real life situations.  This can be a very worrisome issue for parents. 

So just for fun, I suggest you take this test yourself before looking for faults in your child (after all, we are modelling behaviour). Answer ‘YES’ where you feel a twinge of guilt:

• You’ve spent more on phone accessories than on your phone itself;
• You have five or more applications installed and you use them all;
• You have cell phone reminders for your daily routine and chores which need to be done;
• You read about your phone on your phone;
• You have cut back on necessities to afford your monthly cell phone bill;
• A fully charged battery barely lasts the day;
• Your phone broke, and it feels like you’ve lost a friend;
• When you meet people with the same phone, you can’t help but talk about the phone;
• You feel a brief moment of panic when you touch your pocket (or dig to the bottom of your handbag) and your phone is ‘gone’;
• You use it in the bathroom.

This is a strange way of looking at it, but most of us can say ‘YES’ to at least four of these without blinking or feeling the need to join a support group.  Jokes aside, there are numerous dangers, especially where our children are concerned. Below are a few warning signs to look out for:

• High cell phone bills;
• The child is ‘glued’ to his/her cell phone and feels uncomfortable if it’s out of reach; 
• The cell phone and the child are ‘attached’, even in inappropriate places such as restaurants, at the dinner table, in movie theatres or at school;
• Children are constantly checking to see if they have messages or missed calls;
• Your child feels anxious or depressed without his/her phone;
• Your child loses interest in learning abilities and joining social situations;
• They lose track of time while texting, especially at night - leading to sleep deprivation;
• Twisting the truth to family and friends about what they do on their phones;
• And last but not least, they are constantly texting.

Research shows that children are using cell phones for communicating with friends and acquaintances (so-called friends) via texting, WhatsApp, Mixit, Facebook and Twitter to name a few.  Smartphones also give them the opportunity to access the internet; giving them access to research, online shopping or even to getting some form of sexual gratification.   

Some advice for parents who feel their child might have some form of cell phone addiction:

• Set guidelines or rules as to when cell phone usage is appropriate; 
• Set time constraints, clearly identifying how long each day they can use and play with their cell phone;
• Ensure that your child still has face-to-face contact with friends.The more ‘real-life’ relationships they have, the less they will need to spend time on the internet;
• Inform your child of the dangers of using social media and the internet;
• Understand the technology that your children are using. Get to know the social networks and accept ‘Friend’ requests if your child decides to add you to their network;
• If you do discover an addiction problem, help your child recognise that he/she has a problem, and lovingly assist them in working towards an action plan;
• Interact at their level, don’t speak down to them and encourage them to take part in the rule-making process.

These measures should be put in place at an early stage of the child-cell phone relationship. However, if you have tried these various things and you still feel that your child has a serious cell phone addiction, consult a support group, social worker or child psychologist.  

You can also manage and monitor your child’s cellphone usage by downloading Mobiflock (this is currently only available on Android and Nokia phones). For more information on Mobiflock, visit http://www.mobiflock.com/.